I often look at myself in the mirror and wonder: How different would I be if I had just kept my yap shut all those years ago?

A strange blue-tinted parody of what I used to be puzzles back at me.

I almost never have any bruises on my face anymore. Ru and I have gotten beyond the point where he needs to slap me. I've learned very fast - if you consider half a year FAST - to no longer question his orders. They're usually for my own benefit anyway.

However, there are mornings when I awaken with hand-sized blue or black splotches on my hips, shoulders, or legs.

Ru has to be very careful with my right leg. That was the one that Frieza shot.

It doesn't hurt as much anymore, but it's scarred, and it didn't heal right. I have a strange limp, not pigeon-toed, but weak. Like a person with a permanently sprained ankle.

Lifting my long mousey hair, I can find the teeth scars on the back of my neck easily; the small half-moons sprinkling my shoulders from blood-drawing nails.

Those marks will fade soon enough. It usually only lasts a few hours.

I can stare for hours at my reflection, picking out the exhausted worry lines around my mouth and eyes.

Kami, I'm far too young for such things.

But, they disappear when I am well rested, and Ru often lets me sleep as late as I like.

I look closely sometimes, and find my mother's eyes looking back, my father's nose crinkling when I am amused.

How strange to be so full of people you'll never see again.

A phantom past remembered only in one's reflection.

Other Chikyuu-jinn have arrived on Vejiita-sei since the fall of Frieza.

I have not made an effort to know them.

I am no longer human.

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Ru sometimes asks me to sing for him, but I refuse, and he does not press it. I think he believes that if he is patient enough, I will change my mind on my own. I often yearn to sing again, but I dare not.

I remember what happened last time.

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We have grown to care for one another, Ru and I. It's not love. It will never be love. A human isn't worth loving in Saiya-jinn mentality. We're only playthings.

No, it's more like sibling love, mutual respect. He gives me my space and I give him his ... save for the fact that we fuck every night when he's in the mood.

Although... he's never actually said "no" when I initiate.

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And so here I am again, looking at myself in the blue-tinted bathroom mirror, wondering:

How would I be different?

Would my hair be short?

Do I keep it long only because Ru likes it like that?

Would my nails be painted?

Would I be wearing blue jeans? (Kami, I almost MISS wearing PANTS)

Would I be done University?

Would I have a boyfriend?

Would I be married?

Would I have kids?

�

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Large warm hands come around my waist, resting on my stomach and bringing me out of my reverie. I lean back into the familiar broad chest, my eyes meeting his ashy brown ones in the mirror.

"Oi, Ru." I say softly.

"Humph," he grunts.

"Hard fight?" I ask, raising a hand to touch his brand new welt.

"Hai."

"Hn."

"Hungry?"

"Hai, a little."

He smiles. "Good. Me too."

And then, suddenly I am dangling in the air, shrieking with laughter as a fuzzy tail begins to tickle my skin, sneaking under my skirt.

We head in the direction of the bedroom, get halfway out of the bathroom, then give up, collapsing in a heap of limbs and hair on the cool tiles.

No.

No more wondering.

It's too late for that.

Return to History's Mirror�

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